Fat Vampire

Fat Vampire is a novel written by Adam Rex

I've read a lot of books. Most of them are good. But every once in awhile, I come across a bad book. This is one of them.

Don't read this book. It sucks (no pun intended).

This novel is basically about a fat kid, named Doug "Meatball" Lee, who gets turned into a vampire. From the title and description of the novel, I thought it would be an interesting and funny teenage angst type of story or something.

So I read this book.

I didn't like it. And here are the 2 reasons why:

1) I did not like the main character, Doug Lee, who all the kids have nicknamed "Meatball". He is a fat, mean nerd (geek, dork, or whatever you want to call it). Normally, I kind of see nerds as the underdog to the story and I want to root for him to get the girl or something. But I hate this guy.

Doug is a mean nerd. He's the type of person that hates getting picked on, so he takes out his frustrations behind other people's backs. He calls them names and says mean things about them to make himself feel better. And he doesn't even realize that he's doing it. Seriously, people around him call him Meatball as a nickname and he hates it. But instead of asking them to stop, he just says mean things about them behind their backs instead.

I know with the concept of a fat vampire, the author was probably trying to make him as far different from the gorgeous Edward of Twilight as possible. But Doug Lee is not a main character that I liked and I just can't root for him as a hero.

2) And now for the absolute worst thing about this novel, which is the ending. I believe that no matter how good the book is, if the ending is bad, the entire book will leave a bad taste in your mouth.

The ending of this book is bad.

From this point forward, there will be spoilers about the ending of this novel. If you intend to read this book, don't read beyond this point.

Now for the ending of this book: ...It has no ending!

Or to be more exact, it has several different endings to choose from. In the final pages of this novel, Doug gets a stake in his heart. Does he die? I have no idea. Because the novel then gives you several different endings.

For example, after he gets a stake shoved through his heart...

-He lives on and marries the heroine

-He continues to live on and becomes a graphic designer

-In a parallel universe, he doesn't get turned into a vampire. He gets turned into a werewolf instead, and the whole novel would be different.

-He can't pull the stake out of his heart, so he files it down until it's small enough to hide under his clothes

-He dies.

-etc....

Now you can see why I don't like this novel. If I were to rate it, I would give it two stars out of five. So if you're planning to read this book, check it out at a library first. I don't think that it's worth buying, but that's just my opinion. If for some reason you might actually like this novel, feel free to purchase it at your local bookstore.